Step two of Alcoholics Anonymous:
“I’m insane. That’s okay though, I have come to believe that Spirits and Demons that hide in the walls are going to fix my brain and restore me to sanity.”
Okay not exactly, but i’m not too far off. The actual step 2 is
“Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”
In my prior blog I mused over my impulsive behavior brought on by Asperger’s. The feedback I received was that I was not taking responsibility for my actions. I was using it as a cop out to not control myself.
That aside, the comments sparked a line of thought I have been troubled by in the AA program. The Second Step’s “Higher Power”.
One simply and blindly hands over their mind to the AA set of beliefs and program. Intellect and reason can take a hike.
“Let’s look first at the case of the one who says he won’t believe — the belligerent one. He is in a state of mind which can be described only as savage.” (Twelve Steps/Twelve Traditions, William G. Wilson, Page 25)
Is AA really compatible with atheism?
Anyone who has “put time” into AA knows it is intolerable to have any thoughts, concepts, or beliefs that differs from AA mantras. So, believing in a Higher Power is required. And yes, I’ve read “We Agnostics”, as a program they say you can be an atheist but that is not the practice. I won’t go into it here but the idea that “anything” can be your Higher Power (even a football) is bull shit. They anticipate that you will eventually segway into becoming a theist.
Despite a person having a mental challenge (I am sure the exception is serious mental capacity) their thoughts and deeds are not in anyway pardoned or mitigated by their situation. Free will (will power) is at work and a person can change if they want to. Simple.
I am responsible when I am sinful, corrupt, icky. My mind or reason take me down the bad path. If I defy the AA concepts and Steps I won’t make good decisions, I am not capable.
So it doesn’t matter about circumstance, biology, or personal history. It’s all on me. AA members believe that one must absolutely follow their way or relapse is nearly certain. I am not to resist, think, question…
Handing myself over to this Higher Power is the path to change. If I do it right (and AA tells me how to do it correctly) I do not have to think about anything. Everything will be okay. It says that in the Big Book.
All I really have to do is kill my intellect.
*I sincerely don’t want to insult the AA way of life, what I want to do is ask questions and be honest with myself. AA works for some people, but I haven’t experienced much help when asking these types of questions, or bringing up these concerns. I wonder if an AA member will read this and tear these reflections apart, or support my concerns.