First, for me, it started out with denial. I had an answer to everything. I’m not Addicted to Marijuana. It’s not a drug, it’s a medicine. I’m not Addicted to Marijuana, I could stop if I really wanted to. It’s like tea & coffee. It’s a hobby and a lifestyle. There’s a great community around it. And on and on.
I am realizing that smoking weed was compulsive and destructive To My Lifestyle.I am or was Addicted to Marijuana.
I say ‘realizing’ rather than ‘realized’ because confusion is a part of my recovery story. The questions haven’t gone away for me, after 4 months clean. Am I an addict? Can I really stay clean? Is NA going to work for a pothead? Am I making the right choice?
Vigilance is a big part of what has kept me clean up to this point. Keeping it green (no pun intended) is also another part of staying clean and staying vigilant.
I am realizing that my weed smoking behavior wasn’t casual, wasn’t medicinal, and wasn’t productive either for myself or for those around me. I was spinning my wheels and running around in circles.
Today, I’m trying to learn to live a different way; A better way.
There has to be other people like me.
I had a hard time (and still do) with the concept of identifying rather than comparing. I’ve struggled with trying not to compare myself out of the rooms of NA because that fellowship has worked for me. I have to remain conscious of the condition of addiction that all addicts share that isn’t specific to one drug. Just because many other addicts had a different drug of choice, doesn’t minimize my situation. It would be quite unlikely that I would ever OD on weed, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t killing me slowly or that I wasn’t Addicted to Marijuana.
It was killing my potential. It was killing my ties with my family, and it was slowly eroding my sense of reality and my ability to maintain self-love. Today, four months clean, I don’t have every answer. I don’t have every little detail of my life perfectly ordered. What I do have is a new way to live and recovering addicts around me that want to help me make a change.
Do you struggle with your weed consumption?
If you did or do and you’re anything like me, you may want to consider starting to view your behavior as addictive. Hey, we can be addicted to nearly anything. Food, sex, TV, porn, gambling, arguing, fighting, pets… the list goes on. Addicted to Marijuana included.Comparing yourself to other addicts and trying to measure how your situation is better or worse than theirs is a dangerous trap; trust me on that.
I made my blog LiveWeedFree with the belief that other people are having a hard time controlling their weed use or have discovered that pot is becoming too dominant a force in their life. If you’re anything like me, you have a hard time accepting weed as a source of trouble in your life. Heck, it feels good to get high on weed, you can’t really OD on it, and in many places, it’s legal to use.
So what? Much of the same can be said of alcohol and nobody would dispute the dangers of alcohol abuse. If you are someone who either has or had a problem with marijuana, please visit the LiveWeedFree blog and follow it. Please also leave some comments to extend the discussion and help create a bond between those like ourselves who have or continue to struggle with compulsive, addictive marijuana consumption.
There is a way out of the obsessive, repetitive patterns of use. Reach out and share your experience with other addicts who know what it’s like.
Comment below with facebook, or on the side of this article if you dont have facebook.