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[ Personal Narratives ]

Alena’s Story

My name is Alena, I am now 24 years old. I started using heroin and pills when I was just 11. It started off just a few nights a week. Until I turned about 14, I knew I was in trouble but didn’t really care. I grew up around many people using drugs, I knew what they would do to me, but I didn’t realize the long run in it. I got into an abusive relationship when I was just fifteen. I took care of this man’s children while he slowly tried pulling me away from my family, but I didn’t care because I was way to deep into my addiction. I thought that I was bad then, I honestly haven’t even started the real nightmare yet.

I did the same thing everyday worked, came home, sleep (maybe),then every payday my check would be gone. Well this guy whom I was still dating was messing with my best friend. At the time it killed me because I was “in love” with the thought of it. Skipping a few years of misery and pain doing the same old shit, losing relationships with family members, losing so much weight that my fingers would touch when I put my hands around my waist, but I didn’t have enough yet.

When I was 18 or 19,I moved to Philadelphia. My childhood friend was there in a program and told me it was a good place, little did I know my addiction would only get real. I stayed clean in north Philly for about nine months, got a hold of some dumbass pills named tramadol. Didn’t know they were addicting, until I went without. Fuck, now I’m hooked, AGAIN.;

Little did I know the area was called the “badlands” of north Philadelphia, the worst drug neighborhood in Philadelphia. Well one day a friend took me down to this place called Kensington Ave. The worst strip in Philly and where all the drugs and money you’ll ever need to support a hbbit. I swore I would never end up like the girls on the avenue, tricking, selling themselves short for anything, and any amount of money. I did. I ended up homeless, hopeless, and wanting to end my life. I would find myself walking the streets at night, hoping that I could end up like someone that got killed. Luckily, that never happened to me. I met another guy, he was more wacko then the first. Not funny then, but I guess now I can laugh.

Anyway, his name was Donald. This man was possessive, ignorant, abusive. I hated him. Everyday I would be accused of sleeping with a man. Even when we were in the bed at night he would physically kick me on the floor. I tried getting clean, went to rehab, got on methadone. Then when I got out of rehab for the first time, I was introduced to coke. Wow. What a rush, but the come down was the worst. The chase was so evil it had me selling my body for anything as low at three dollars, just one more hit. That is what I always told myself. I find myself checking back into rehab, this time I am on methadone, and I got a coke problem. I get out, relapse within a day. I was on the most worst chase of my life. I had never experienced anything so evil. That stuff had me literally out of my mind. It took for me to have nothing, no one to call, jail, getting arrested for prostitution. Finally I meet a man who I actually liked. Tavian is his name. This man saved my life. We were friends for years before I actually was clear headed enough to ask him out. This man went threw so much with me, stayed by my side threw so much shit, I don’t know how I still have him honestly. I love him. Anyway, that’s my story. Many details were missing, but drugs almost killed me. Find a higher power , believe in yourself. Do it for you, no one else or trust me it will never work. I will never look back. Thanking my God everyday.