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My Angels Finally Beat My Demons

Have you ever asked yourself if angels and demons really exist? I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that they do exist. You see, the reason many people choose to doubt the existence of God and Angels is the belief that they have to hear his voice boom or they will see a winged creature descend in front of them. I can tell you that there is a God and he put Angels in my life all throughout it. There were also demons along the way and they are there every day in all of our lives trying to trick us. Demons don’t appear with horns or look like monsters, they appear in the form of bottles, pills, and many other deceptive sins.

God and nothing but God saved me two years ago because I was empty and I was lost. Despite having pushed him away he wouldn’t let me go that July morning because it wasn’t my time to go. God put two angels in the form of my sons in my life that morning to look at and for me to see what precious gifts he had given me. He wanted me to know how they deserved more than I was giving them. He said it is time to LIVE or time to DIE. He also said I’m not ready for you to die.

Did God actually speak to me and say to this alcoholic that he wasn’t ready for me to live or die? No! He just kept me pacing and thinking from 4:00 am until 6:00 am when I thought it was an acceptable time to call someone and say I have to do it today or I’m going to kill myself. That’s right, I said out loud that if I didn’t go get help that day I would commit suicide. See, I was already killing myself so I was just finally saying it out loud. I made all the calls to my boss and I had already decided it didn’t matter, job or not my Angel boys deserved more.

My boss said I’m praying for you and your job is safe and again God was saying I’m showing you the way and I’m lighting the path. I told my boyfriend through text that I was seeking help but he ignored me because by this time I’d destroyed so much of our beautiful relationship. There is a God because with love and work he’s now my husband but during this time there was a lot of pain and hurt that the alcohol led me to tell. My demons were everywhere and I knew even after treatment I would have to face them everywhere. There’s an entire aisle at Walmart I avoid and places I don’t go today because Demons are real.

I still wanted to die for a while after I realized at 34 that I had to admit I was an alcoholic. The shame was killing me and the Devil put that shame in my life to separate me from God. I met many different people in treatment and the stereotype is so far from the truth. We are mothers, sisters, friends, teachers, neighbors, doctors, lawyers, nurses. We are those that lost our way. We are loved by our children and our families and we have hurt them because Demons are real. Sadly, I know at least two people from treatment are gone now from their demons taking their lives and I was heartbroken. I will NOT let my demons take me.

That July morning, God told me to fight and he would fight with me. As real as demons are I know that Angels are just as real. My beautiful son saying he loves me and just wants his mom back is proof that Angels exist and that same boy being proud of his very sober mom. The loving people that wrap their love all around me are Angels that he puts in my life. My mother that has watched over me when I didn’t even know and my husband that decided I was worth the fight. Angels and Demons do exist but my angels are stronger.