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[ Personal Narratives ] [ Short Form & Affirmations ]

Awakened Through Grief

I thought I knew everything until I lost my 19 year old child

disconnected from my self as my mind would run wild

violently forced to face the true inner me

questioning my life and the forces of its energy

Reconnecting with this person, someone I barely knew

Peeling the deep layers exposing my truth

Reconnecting my mind, body, and soul

To this person who lay dormant, never exposed

A painful journey where some fear to go

Grief is uncomfortable forcing me to know

To know the true meaning of what, how, and why

connecting to something much bigger that both you and I

An abyss of the unknown lay at my feet

As I look to my higher self raising the vibration within me

Clearing all the negative energy that has deeply consumed me

clawing my way out of limbo ridding the energies that paralyze me

Regrets I have are more than a few

My Son’s death has awakened me to a universe I never knew

Clearing the clutter that distracted me and my path

Feeling every emotion, feeling its ungodly wrath

My Ego filled with constant chatter

Disconnecting me from all those who matter

Consumed in a world I created within

A world that exists beyond this dimension

My distorted reality or is it really

Am I experiencing life beyond what we see

As I sleep to dream on the mystery ride

my notebook and pen lay at my side

Woken up to many words and phrases

feeling lost within my garden full of mazes

A journal of notes I record each day

Cracking codes leaving me endlessly astray

A journey making me uncomfortable within

As the fear left my body desperately seeking wisdom

Wisdom through knowledge is all that I seek

Knowing I am more than the vessel which carries me

Repairing the wounds afflicting my spirit and flesh

As my dormant soul surfaces letting my mind rest

To feel and think from my soul has awakened a new me

The person I was died with my Son unexpectedly

The person I thought who I was supposed to become

That person was blinded by the ideal image of everyone

The merry go round that never seems to stop

After losing my Son it was time to jump off

Walking a path to which some fear to go

Being defined differently for not going with the flow

A flow where I feel stagnant and chained

A flow I shall not follow if I’m to get out of this maze

My life is more than what I currently know

No one but me can travel this road

I am one with everyone but very much alone

My energy is shifting to a place we call home

A home where some fear to understand

Limiting their soul as their ego expands

I refuse to confine my discovery within

I refuse to keep going round within the whirlwind

Subliminal messages and warped ideologies

Hindered my ability to see beyond the false reality

Reflecting on what was and what now is

A simple ripple in the tide has so much love to give

a lyric or a song or whatever it may be

The unnoticed ripple in the tied is somehow completing me 

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