By: Kristin Trubiani
I remember the first time we met. You were everything a girl could ask for in a relationship. You were always there for me when no one else was. You softly whispered in my ear that “everything is going to be just fine.” You helped take away the pain that I dealt with on a daily basis. I couldn’t of asked for a better partner.
What I didn’t realize is that you were turning me into a person I didnt recognize. After awhile our relationship wasn’t so great. I was doing terrible things just to spend another minute with you. Lying, cheating, stealing, manipulating. I didn’t care what I had to do, just as long as I could be with you.
Instead of making me happy like in the beginning, you started to make me feel hopeless. I started to feel like I was destined to be with you forever and that you would eventually take my life someday. I would lay in bed at night with you and hope that you would end my misery. That I wouldn’t wake up next to you in the morning.
But the real me was still in there, underneath the dark veil you had over my eyes for 6 years. The real me was in there, kicking and screaming. Fighting to break out. She kept trying to get help, and every single time you pulled her back in. You were so good at sweet talking, that I would fall right back under your charms.
Maybe this is the way my life is supposed to be.
Maybe I am supposed to be miserable and worthless.
NO! The real me said no, you are meant for happiness and recovery. You are meant to do so much more with your life than be with this devil.
At last, a light. I clawed and scratched my way towards it. Inching little by little. My broken mind, my bruised and tracked up body, inching towards that beautiful light that turned out to be my sobriety. I got to my feet, I raised a hand to shield my face, the light was so bright it scared me a little. But I stepped forward, into the light and onto a new beginning. A beginning without you, Heroin.
You’ve lost me for good this time, Heroin. And I know you are going to try to weasel your way back into my life some how, some way. But I swear to you, you will NEVER get me back. I’ve moved on to a new relationship, with Recovery. And I know for sure that I’ve found my one and only this time.