Dear Toxic Relationship,
I miss you, but I can’t stand your existence. I love you dearly, but I wish you would vanish. You made me feel more amazing than I’ve ever felt in my entire life, but you tried taking my life away from me in more ways than one! People told me you were no good! That if you didn’t kill me now and rob me for everything. Including my life!
I left, but you would eventually come back for me. If I tried to ignore you, you sent me flashbacks that made me crave you. I don’t forgive myself, but I continue to forgive you. No matter what you put me through, I seem to only hold on to the good memories that we shared. Without you, I feel empty and alone. I never felt that way before we met.
I figure the only reasonable explanation is that I’m in love with you, I’m infatuated with you! When you’re with me, nothing matters. I’m even willing to sacrifice my very last breath if it means I can feel your warmth one last time. The day they tore us apart, I didn’t want it to end! I still wanted to be with you, til death did us part. They told me it wouldn’t hurt forever and that it would get better. I didn’t believe them! I made a promise to you! I made a promise to us! Til death do us part!
So it comes to this: who will go first? It’s going to be me! You want to see me die! You want to slowly suck the life from me until I don’t have anything left to offer! Then you will leave and move on to corrupt and take advantage of another hopeless, broken, destroyed soul. You’re a bully!
I wish I could attend your funeral. That’s how much I care. I would attend your funeral. I’m not sure if it’s because I care that you would be gone forever. I know for sure that it’s not because I respect you. I believe it’s because I wish and long for the confirmation that I can no longer get a hold of you. That you would never be able to whisper lies to me. Only because you notice I am weak and vulnerable. You can never be my false hope of happiness again. I wish you could never make anyone else fall in love with you so effortlessly that it’s almost impossible not to like or love you! I wish you could go through the misery and pain that you pretend to take away! YOU are misery and pain in disguise! You just need and want company. Til death do us part, goodbye.