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[ Personal Narratives ]

I Will Sip… Just a Little Sip

I will sip just a little sip.

A special secret moment. Not a Drinking Relapse. It felt so private and peaceful that this could not be considered a Drinking Relapse. This was different. I never drank like this before, peaceful like, so this time it had to be okay. And, I wasn’t going to get drunk.

It is four days later and I can see how my rationalization gave my decision to drink permission. Took the guilt away for the evening.

I ended up drinking almost two bottles of white wine. I had intended just one glass, at most two. But after the first glass I knew there was no stopping. The only reason I did stop when I did, was because I got sick.

I couldn’t handle that amount a liquor. I also ended up sick and bedridden for two days. I just don’t have what it takes to drink like I used to, but it also doesn’t stop me from drinking as much as I used to.

Eleven months of sobriety lost.

What a stupid decision.

There is no little bit for an alcoholic. There is no romantic and peaceful exception that allows a lapse.

There will never be a time when the situation allows for an alcoholic to drink since it always results in the same tragic story, same sickness, same destruction.

There is no reason to romanticize a drink. A single glass of wine may seem lovely and harmless to the imagination and in reality it is… but it will never stop at just one glass for a drunk and a drunk is not pretty.

There are no secrets for a drunk in the glow of the moon.