I’m homosexual (or bisexual, or pansexual) now what? How to admit homosexuality?

Is homosexuality a sin?

Since Christianity established itself in the world, sexuality, seen as correct, is exclusively related to penis-vagina penetration, with the sole purpose of procreating.

Therefore, any kind of sexuality that was not for this purpose was considered sodomy.

So sex for pleasure, homosexual, bisexual, pansexual sex, fetishes, sadomasochistic practices, exhibitionism, voyeurism, anal and oral sex are examples of what was called sodomy.

Other monotheistic religions such as Judaism and Islam also considered sex for procreation to be the only correct form of sex.

After feudalism, with the formation of modern states, sodomy became a crime in many countries.

In the 19th century, sodomy came to be considered a disease by psychiatry. Treatments were made to try to cure sodomites, such as electroshocks, testicle transplants from those defined as heterosexual, lobotomy, hospitalizations in hospices, etc.

Before monotheistic religions were established in the world, sexuality was lived in a different way. Just research about sexuality in the ancient world like Mesopotamia, Egypt, Greece and Rome. Practices considered homosexual were better tolerated.

The sexual revolution

It is true that starting in the 1960s, there was a sexual revolution in the world.

And the woman began to rely on the contraceptive pill, to have greater financial independence and to be able to divorce. New family configurations were being formed.

So the concept of sex was detaching itself from procreation and also being linked to pleasure.

However, we know that centuries and centuries of culture and traditions cannot be changed overnight. Monotheistic religions have been dominating the planet for a long time, dictating customs and traditions in social organization.

Even in some countries sodomy is a crime, punishable even with the death penalty. However, the World Health Organization no longer considers homosexuality a crime since 1992.

So it’s okay to come out with your homosexuality!

When did you choose to be straight or gay?

Gender customs and norms dictate that a biologically male person should be only attracted to women and develop an exclusively male gender identity.

So whoever was born with a female biological sex must be attracted only to men and develop a female-only gender identity. Gender is a social and historical construction. They are nothing more than roles, conventions and characteristics assigned to each gender. It is not a natural essence that will manifest.

Well, gender and the female sex were socially constructed as being weak, passive and submissive.

On the other hand, the gender and the male sex were being constructed as being strong, active and dominating. Our society has developed in a competitive and totalitarian way, so gender and male are more valued.

Male homosexuality was associated with female aspects. Because socially it is believed that only elements of the feminine will be attracted to elements of the masculine.

So the logics that operate the understanding of sexes and genders are based on sex for procreation, where it is necessary to have the masculine and the feminine to generate another life.

When, for example, the boy discovers he is homosexual, bisexual or pansexual, all this millenary set of prejudices, norms, roles and traditions end up coming to the fore.

The shame of homosexual discovery

Many end up smothering their sexuality out of fear or shame. Those who are “discovered” are often bullied at school. They adopt “hidden” and distorted sexual practices. They may engage in drug abuse and unprotected sex.

All this can still lead to psychological and psychiatric conditions of depression and anxiety. Family and friends can antagonize them so much that they may leave or be kicked out of the house at an early age. Others may idealize or even commit suicide.

What to do to admit homosexuality?

Seeking expert help from a psychologist or psychiatrist can be a good start to coming out with your homosexuality.

Another way to empower yourself is to study about sexuality. Philosophy, psychology, psychiatry, sociology and history can help a lot in understanding the social and historical construction of sexualities considered wrong and deviant.

But the work of psychotherapy, combined with spiritual practices and self-knowledge are very powerful in facing prejudice. The worst prejudice, however, is prejudice against oneself.

And this is technically called internalized homophobia.

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