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[ Opinion ] [ Personal Narratives ]

“I really miss opiates”

I’ve been addicted to something all my life. No, really all my life!. I’ve been on a roller coaster ride with prescription drugs since I was 2 years old. I was told by my parents that I nearly died from an asthma exacerbation. Strong medication saved my life. What was one major ingredient in the inhaler? Ephedrine was the culprit. My days were filled with swallowing marax, pyrabenzimin, ( not sure of the spelling neither was my mobile device.) and inhaled meds. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad to be alive, but the daily regiment of medicating opened the door to an addictive adventure with RX. My first taste of opiates came when I had knee surgery in 1993. Since that time of recovery, I have secretly longed for these delicious drugs and due to my clumsy nature I had additional chances to feed that hunger. As I aged I thought I’d hit the jackpot. I discovered I had Osteoarthritis! Yes! Surely now I could justify the lust I had for this wonder drug. Shoot, this little tablet called Vicodin improved my mood, pulled me out of my shyness, made me forget the joint pain and energized me even if it was only for a few hours. As long as the doc and the pharmacy kept me refilled, I was good, life was good. Unfortunately,it became increasingly difficult to keep the the good times rolling. 

For about 10 years or so I couldn’t legally get the medication that had become my best friend. So I searched for something that would substitute . From 1998 to 2008, I grabbed whatever I could find to fill the hunger. Have you ever heard of phenolpropanolamine? ( Again my word assistance app is scratching it’s head) This drug was suppose to be for sinus headaches. The company I worked for had lots of these little purple and white packs of this lovely drug. I could take this and 30 minutes later I was the happiest, most talkative worker on first shift. Here’s to you pharmaceutical companies! You’re the best! That sunny day lasted a couple of years but then the management pulled the plug. Never kid yourself, if it seems like you got an unending flow of happy pills beware, someone is going to shut the spigot off. 

In 2008, I had to have carpal tunnel surgery and guess what… Yep, the doc prescribed tramadol for my recovery. Oh my gosh!!! This is great! Now I can be the shining star that I was destined to be. Okay, maybe not that extreme but I was the life of the second shift party. Well you know the story, eventually the surgeon cut off my happy source. I kept snatching meds when I could. I Lived with my folks for three years, helping them do what they couldn’t anymore and helping myself to dad’s Vicodin. He didn’t use it anyway so I did. In 2009 I remarried, and moved into her apartment. One day I was searching through the meds she had but didn’t use and …… You got it …. I found over 120 hydrocodone pills. Once again I had found gold! 

 That supply didn’t last long so I found a Pain Management doctor and I was on the way again to Nirvana. Life was good. I’ve been in and out of doctor offices since 2010 finding help for my pain and now I’m actually disabled and can’t work but the monsters at the FDA have made it harder and harder for doctors to prescribe pain medication to their patients. End of story, I’m stuck with Tylenol 3 and some “herbal supplements” to cope with pain. I really miss opiates. They fill a need I have. Without them I can’t go to my happy place. I know this isn’t good but if someone offered me a bottle of those little goodies, I’d go right back to the addiction merry go round. I admit it, I’m happily addicted. I don’t need a rehab,just give me my candy!