I am Leaving AA. I am not unique or original.
I woke up to an inbox that had some of these comments. A few kind ones (that felt good) too, but there were a few that pointed out that my topics were already “mused over”. They made it clear that lots of people go through what I am or have experienced in being bored or Leaving AA. Then there was that comment about me trying to escape responsibility.
Being original isn’t my goal in blogging. I can’t help but make an equal comment here… but there is nothing unique in AA so I am Leaving AA. Same used up slogans and chants. There are no new topics to choose from in the AA program. I decided to put words to my thoughts on the Second Step. It never occurred to me that I needed to find a new angle.
Since the shirking and trying to avoid owning my responsibility has been brought up (again) I think it deserves a response. But, what exactly am I not responsible for? I am sober. I believe in free will and consequences. That leaves only the issue of my going to AA meetings. (I think).
I have gone to many, many meetings. Worked the Steps with my Sponsor. My heart was as sincere as I could make it during my time in the Program. I really tried. I think the reason I am sober is because of AA. There came a time when I needed to find a different means of maintaining sobriety. Keep the good that I learned from AA and move onto a different path.
If your Reasoning cannot suspend belief (just because you are told to do so) how is it not responsible to do something about it- to be sincere to oneself and find an alternate path? How is that an excuse? It is Rationalizing… being rational and that is not a bad thing.
This line of thought is not acceptable to a hard core AA member. It is a dangerous path and most likely they feel it is just a matter of time before I relapse because of this “stinking thinking”. I hope they wish the best for me though. I hope they wish me success no matter how I get there, even a non-AA way of life.
It is cool getting a response to my blog. Even a negative one. It helps me think outside my own head. It is giving me insight in how a blog can be better written.
I cannot promise to be unique though. Maybe I’m just a damn parrot.