When I was 25 I hit a quarter life crisis. When I turned 20 I had set myself goals that I wanted to achieve by 30 and on my 25th birthday I realised I was nowhere near achieving any of them. So I basically pulled a 180. I moved cities, I took a new direction in work, albeit within the same industry and decided to try and reinvent myself. The result were almost immediate. I started earning more money than I ever had, I was being paid to travel around the world and three years later I even found myself engaged. Life it seemed couldn’t get any better.
And that’s when my old friend, addiction, came calling. I’d been using booze and drugs from my teenage years and although I knew I tended towards excess and evenly ‘jokingly’ called myself a functional addict/alcoholic I never really thought I was in all that deep. I certainly didn’t need any twelve step programs or, heaven forbid, rehab.
Slowly though addiction took hold and I slipped further and further into it’s grasp. Eventually, in November of 2015 it all came rushing to a head when I was arrested for possession. Suddenly my dirty little secret wasn’t a secret anymore. My fiancé, my family, her family, suddenly all of them knew about my second half.
My options were basically jail or rehab and so off to rehab I went. And that’s when things began to turn around. Somehow my fiancé remains with me and is supportive of me probably because she’s my guardian angel. My family has been equally as amazing and as I head further down the road into recovery I can start to feel my real wings grow. I’ve started a blog (www.talesfromnowhere.com) and I read up and post about addiction and recovery whenever I can because I want to share the gifts that I have been given.
My dreams are now much different to what they were at 20 and although my timing might be slightly off for all of those goals I wanted to reach by 30, I feel like now I really know myself much better than I ever have before. That’s not to say that there aren’t difficult days of course. But recovery has given me something special. And in a lot of ways I’m quite grateful that I was searched by police in that park back in November. In a lot of ways it was one of the best things that could’ve happened really.
What does the future hold? Who knows. But at least now I don’t really have any expectations. I am just thankful for each day I get that is clean and sober. And that’s enough.