Well my first mistake was going out with people I have been out with before, or knew better. They probably asked me when they thought I was the ‘up-for-anything, party-girl, drinking aficionado’.
At the start of the night they knew I wouldn’t be drinking, I felt the need to warn them, (will I always need to?). I made sure that I had my car with me, other wise I wouldn’t have lasted 5 minutes. Well, it seemed to work but, my god, I was tempted. Prosecco? Really? My ultimate weakness… When the drinks began to flow I was tempted, I very nearly gave in. And as they became more intoxicated they tried harder and harder to force it on me, no matter what explanation I gave to them as to why I couldn’t drink. And then suddenly, that point in the evening came when absolutely everyone was smashed, then came the ‘Are you sure you’re alright?’ 100 times a minute. And they were idiots, and they stank, and they repeated themselves constantly, and they slurred their words, and they couldn’t focus their eyes. But then, rather than thinking, ‘I’m so glad I’m not like that tonight’, what I was actually thinking was ‘This is weird, I should be in the same state’, and I was a little jealous! Jealous of having the freedom to get drunk and let go without the suffering. The knowledge that I would suffer a thousand times more than them the next day, and another day avoiding my family and throwing my guts up and being in pain just isn’t worth it though. And I got to drive home which is a bonus.
Lessons have been learnt though, don’t go out with heavily drinking ‘new friends’ on a night out, don’t talk to drunk strangers when on a night out, go out with people who love me, know me and respect me. And the weirdest part of it? So many drunk people judge the people who aren’t drinking, because they think that the sober person is judging them (I know, I’ve been then many-a time), well I am not judging anybody for being drunk, good for them, they can probably handle it better than me, or not, it doesn’t matter. On our own unique paths the only thing that matters is following what is true to us, and in this case it is sobriety, for sure, for now. It is so much better than what was.