I’ve spent the last five months of my life in a relationship with an alcoholic.
It’s a horrid disease. It’s horrid to watch someone drink and throw his life away.
It’s hard to see how anyone can do this—from my perspective, as the non alcoholic. This has been one of the hardest times of my life. I’ve loved. I’ve cried so much. I’ve reacted so heavily. I’ve criticized. I’ve suffered.
But he has had to endure one of the biggest battles in his life. Being defeated by an illness that affects so many people worldwide.
I went into this relationship with my eyes open. I work in the treatment field. I am aware of some of the behaviours and triggers. The pain it causes and endures.
I’ve been blinded, thinking I could rescue him. Telling myself I could handle it. I’ve been strong some of the time. But at other times I’ve fallen apart, really not knowing what to do. My family doesn’t know. Some of my friends don’t know. I haven’t told many people, not because I’m ashamed, but because they don’t understand.
I’m about to make the most monumental decision of my life. I still don’t know what it is—all I do know is I have to remove myself from this situation.
I cannot fix him, I cannot rescue him. I can only listen. Time, space and compassion will help me—while he is far away.