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[ Short Form & Affirmations ]

But Not Yet… (A Poem For A Child, Lost To Addiction)

A little girl lost one New Year’s Eve night

Her parents, protectors, someone to fight

Passed off to strangers, hurting so bad

She ran from the only family she had

She wandered through pain, danger and night

Found herself empty and fought with her might

An endless search for love that they swore

Would fill her with peace so she’s empty no more…

But fairy tales aren’t found in the depths of hell

And thats where she spun until that day when she fell…

Ascended to life and suffering aside

She welcomed her baby with such pride

Crazy enamoured with her very first love

Her child, a daughter, her little white dove

In disbelief she was blessed with a son, so special was he

Two beautiful babies, what more could she need?

Those wounds untreated, never really heal

Scabbed over, ripped open, she couldn’t deal

She found herself aid and numbed it away

A pill, a drink, whatever she would say

Until one day when she was no more, a shell of a girl who just wanted to score…

Suddenly and painfully she was jolted awake

All at once it was more than she could take

Shaken to rock bottom she craved what she missed

Every smile, every hug, every little kiss

She quietly sat in a space until that day

When she knew she would make it all okay…

Until then she bargained with him

I’ll sit here and wait until I see them again

Im sorry dear God I didn’t see it then

The family I craved was always in them…

Sadly for all, that day never came

Her gift from God now taken in vain

A daughter who felt more deeply than she

Couldn’t stand all that life had to be

A need to kill pain we thought we couldnt take

In exchange for a life of constant ache

Now her worst fears coming to pass

She thought there was no way she would last

For all of her sins she continued to pay

For all of her guilt she decided to stay

She thought she loved, she couldn’t walk

Despite her instincts and her inner wise talk

She endured pain, hate and lonely nights

Thinking it gets better if I just hold on tight

Her son growing strong, a happy young man

Disciplined, faithful and determined to stand

In spite of agony, longing and fears

He gets up, gets going and gets through his tears

A career, baby and beautiful wife

A promising future, a wonderful life

He never forgets his sister he mourns

He chooses her name for his first born

Never breaking the promise he made

Double the person he will be as she laid…

The girl now a woman must go on,

understanding its pitch dark before her dawn

She is finally awake and no longer needs

That crutch , that knife , safely made bleed

Inflicting pain and then given relief

Its a made up sort of love, nothing more than belief

The only way to strength is to push through the pain

No matter how sure you are going insane

And in that moment she finally knew

She will see her again and it will be brand new

She realized all suffering was not in vain

The day will come when we are together again

Until all is made whole she does what she can

To better herself, her son, following the plan

Its not her time yet so she continually strives

To pass on that love that never dies…

We will see you one day… but not yet.

-Katrina King