Editor’s Note: This is an actual submission we received from an active heroin user. We changed the title, because it helps you to see that most of us in active addiction are able to intellectualize, yet we are unable to connect the rational side of our brain to the emotional side.
You have taken my soul, you’ve turned me into nothing but an empty shell. You have taken my mind hostage, my thoughts are no longer my own, they belong to you, and you are evil.
You have taken my personality and twisted and contorted it, becoming someone I could never look in a mirror and recognize let alone respect.
My body is dependent on you. Each night I dream that I will leave you, but upon waking I get sick, until I let you back in, and you calm the beast ripping at my insides.
You have taken my children from me, the innocent youth caught in the crossfire. Love is a stranger. Hearts broken apart, relationships destroyed. You have taken my morals, drowning them, leaving me numb and desensitized.
I no longer feel, hurt, laugh, cry, get angry or smile. I don’t notice what’s happening around me, life ceases to exist and everything goes dark. Everything is gone.
And yet I return to you every fucking day!