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Seeking Forgiveness

I ask for your forgiveness even tho I am not sure I really want it and I know for a fact I do not need it. I have thought about it until my head hurts. I have cried until there is not a single tear left. Then I started wondering why am I seeking your forgiveness when in fact you should be seeking mine. That thought changed me forever changing my choices in life. No longer will I seek out the forgiveness you have spent years denying me. No longer will I cry in shame and hide my head because your eyes never truly meet mine. I have asked your forgiveness begged for it. I have prayed that you will find forgiveness in your heart. I no longer ask for or expect forgiveness from you. Don’t forgive me it was never for me any way because forgiveness is for you so that you can heal and move on.Stay here in your misery alone and trying to pull the world down with you. I no longer will say I am sorry , I am no longer insecure in myself, or unsure of my needs. I am not a child in desperate need of someone to cling to in the dark. I hope your happy that you like the new me. The strength to end this desperate game came with the knowledge that I am no longer in need of your forgiveness and that its okay for me to let it go and move on without you. Thank you for the strength it took to get up off my knees, find my footing, and walk away. I am moving forward in my recovery while your still holding anger in your heart. In my weakness you gained the strength it took to break my heart and in that pain I found myself a little broken but still some what repairable. No longer that sad lost little girl forever begging for you to love me. I found me and I am going to be okay.

No longer desperately seeking your forgiveness just asking for your acceptance as I smile and walk away.