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[ Opinion ] [ Personal Narratives ]

Smart Enough To Stay Stupid


Smart enough to stay stupid? How does that apply to alcoholism and recovery? Aren’t we supposed to study the science of recovery and grasp the core principles of the Steps. Shouldn’t we seek to learn as much as possible about this terrible disease of addiction?

I’ve been learning and studying and focusing on recovery for several years now. I’ve done 3 IOPs and one stint in in-patient detox and rehab. I’ve had 2 lengthy periods of sobriety, plus several shorter ones. And you know what?

I’ve relapsed every time I get too smart for my own good. I think I know enough to beat this disease on my own. My ego tells me I don’t need meetings or the steps or a sponsor. I get a few months of sobriety behind me, my mind clears, and I forget that alcoholism is much, much smarter than I will ever be. It never rests or sleeps, never fades into oblivion. It cunningly lets me think my choice is mine alone.

So now I resolve to stay stupid. To keep at recovery one day at a time, one step at a time, one hopeful morning and thankful evening at a time. And if I’m smart enough to do that, that’s all I’ll ever need.