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[ Personal Narratives ]

Day #11

Day 11.

Mood: Perky (annoyingly)

Stress Levels right this second: Eh?

Stress Levels at 5pm on Friday: ‘FUCK OFF’ on the ‘Bastardwankshitfuckmctwaterson’ Scale.

Alcoholic drinks consumed in last 11 days: 0

Alcoholic drinks considered consuming: 57

Alcoholic drinks considered consuming between 4.30 and 5.30pm on Friday: 51

Alcoholic drinks consumed in dreams when sleeping: 5

Friends lost… 0?

Audible gasps when people have heard I’m not drinking: 4

Amount of times people have told me that they are ‘proud’ of me: 6

Amount of times my mother has used the following clich├ęs on phone to me:

‘Turning your life around’ : 2

‘Growing up:’ 3 (closer to 50 million if you include echos)

‘Getting your act together:’ 1 (but sure she wanted to say it more)

‘Like a new person:’ 3

Number of times have nearly hung up on mum on phone: 5

Number of times have made excuses to hang up phone on mum: 3

Number of times have considered maybe phone mum too much: 100+

Amount of times have not liked listening to what people have had to say: 7

Times I’ve thought people might have a valid point: 7

Times I’ve found myself getting all-maudlin and voice-over-y whilst writing blog posts: 6

Times I have really wanted a drink: 4

Times I have *really* wanted a drink: 1

Number of pubs/bars been in: 3

Number of soda/fresh limes consumed: 6

Number of ambulances called: 0

Number of pavements slept on: 0

Number of times have felt being sanctimonious and self serving, with a hint (read: large serving) of preachy….: No comment

Mood right now: Confused. Reflective.

Aims right now: To work out where I am going with this blog post.

Worries about aims right now: That this post isn’t funny.

What I would like right now: For this post to be funny.

Why do this want this post to be funny? Funny > Honesty

Why does funny > honesty? …..

Number have times couldn’t stop writing, even though I wanted to: 1

Mood right now: Annoyed. Angry?

Number of times been to yoga this week: 5

Number of times been to the gym: 2

Nights slept well: 7

Days that have been fresh: 10 (New Year’s Day was ropey)

Reasons to be optimistic: Many

Layers peeled: Some

Layers wanted to paste back: A few more.

How many times will I cringe at this post: Plenty

How many fucks will I give? Not one.

How much do I want to believe that? More than plenty.

How much am I looking forward to tomorrow? 7/10

How much am I looking forward to this year? 10/10

What else should I need? Nothing.

How many times have I rewritten the last line for this post? 16 17

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