Mood: Perky (annoyingly)
Stress Levels right this second: Eh?
Stress Levels at 5pm on Friday: ‘FUCK OFF’ on the ‘Bastardwankshitfuckmctwaterson’ Scale.
Alcoholic drinks consumed in last 11 days: 0
Alcoholic drinks considered consuming: 57
Alcoholic drinks considered consuming between 4.30 and 5.30pm on Friday: 51
Alcoholic drinks consumed in dreams when sleeping: 5
Friends lost… 0?
Audible gasps when people have heard I’m not drinking: 4
Amount of times people have told me that they are ‘proud’ of me: 6
Amount of times my mother has used the following clichés on phone to me:
‘Turning your life around’ : 2
‘Growing up:’ 3 (closer to 50 million if you include echos)
‘Getting your act together:’ 1 (but sure she wanted to say it more)
‘Like a new person:’ 3
Number of times have nearly hung up on mum on phone: 5
Number of times have made excuses to hang up phone on mum: 3
Number of times have considered maybe phone mum too much: 100+
Amount of times have not liked listening to what people have had to say: 7
Times I’ve thought people might have a valid point: 7
Times I’ve found myself getting all-maudlin and voice-over-y whilst writing blog posts: 6
Times I have really wanted a drink: 4
Times I have *really* wanted a drink: 1
Number of pubs/bars been in: 3
Number of soda/fresh limes consumed: 6
Number of ambulances called: 0
Number of pavements slept on: 0
Number of times have felt being sanctimonious and self serving, with a hint (read: large serving) of preachy….: No comment
Mood right now: Confused. Reflective.
Aims right now: To work out where I am going with this blog post.
Worries about aims right now: That this post isn’t funny.
What I would like right now: For this post to be funny.
Why do this want this post to be funny? Funny > Honesty
Why does funny > honesty? …..
Number have times couldn’t stop writing, even though I wanted to: 1
Mood right now: Annoyed. Angry?
Number of times been to yoga this week: 5
Number of times been to the gym: 2
Nights slept well: 7
Days that have been fresh: 10 (New Year’s Day was ropey)
Reasons to be optimistic: Many
Layers peeled: Some
Layers wanted to paste back: A few more.
How many times will I cringe at this post: Plenty
How many fucks will I give? Not one.
How much do I want to believe that? More than plenty.
How much am I looking forward to tomorrow? 7/10
How much am I looking forward to this year? 10/10
What else should I need? Nothing.
How many times have I rewritten the last line for this post? 16 17