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[ Short Form & Affirmations ] [ Opinion ]

The Big “H” Word

The deadly “H” word that everyone is scared to talk about but it’s the one thing we are not talking about enough.  No I’m not talking about the word hell or hate I am talking about heroin. I guess though in a nutshell you are experiencing a version of hell and hating yourself because of Heroin.

I can sit here and tell you about my story and how I was abused as a child but still grew up in a good loving home. I could tell you about the first time I drank or smoked pot. I could sit here and spit out the same thing and it always starts with fear. We don’t just start picking up for fun (or maybe we do at first but the fun stops fast.)  We use out of fear. Fear that we are not good enough and that the only thing that will make it better is the big h with a needle in my arm. Fear ran my life for a long time, but now I’ve found love instead of fear and life is so much brighter. 

The fear of going through opiate withdrawal is scary enough that you would think after experiencing it once I would never pick up again, but we all know what happens next. I feel like I have it kicked and I pick right back up. It’s a vicious cycle that won’t stop until your dead. The big “H” yeah the thing that you thought was your friend and that will always have your back. Yeah that fuckers only goal is to see you 6 feet under. But there is hope. I read somewhere on here that give an addict a little bit of hope and watch what they do with it.

I’m living proof that you can overcome heroin addiction with the right circle of support around you and believing in whatever your higher power is. I call mine love. What do you call yours?