I STILL LOVE ‘THAT’ GIRL
She was the best at parties. She knew everyone and if she didnt, there were no qualms about a hug maybe even a peck on the cheek as introduction. She was always willing to dance. The dance to no music kind of girl. She talks to you like you’ve been friends for years. She’s pretty awesome, and would tell you so herself.
But, dammit, the second she was sober… Turns out, she doesn’t remember if she knows you or not. She doesn’t remember what she’s said to you, or even… *gasp* did .. with you. She shakes, not dances. And the things she wouldn’the do to feel that awesome again…
I miss her brutality. And fearlessness. She was really beautiful sometimes. She hugged you like she loved you, because for that night, she did. And she told you she loved you, and that you were beautiful too. Every night was a new adventure.
But she’s a really hard girl to keep around. Every night being a new adventure lead to the obvious mornings of well, reality. Ugh. For some strange reason hair of the dog seems a good reason to drink. …. right… She’s getting to be a hassle. Every day it’s like this. Every. Damn. Day.
When did she go away?
On 3-21-15. I still love ‘that’ girl. I know there is still a part of her inside me. I’m learning to hug everyone. And to tell people they are beautiful, and that I love them. Even if it’s just for today. Tell them and MEAN it. She still doesn’t remember if she knows you or not. But she’s pretty sure she didn’t suck your face. And now in recovery she is learning how awesome she truly is. There is much that has changed for the better, and there are some things that haven’t changed…Like dancing, even without the music.